Perfect Mom? Don’t Worry, I’m Not Either!
Guess what, I am not a perfect mom. Nope, never have been, never will be. And here’s the irony in that – I remember countless prayers during my struggle with infertility that included this, “I promise I will be an awesome mom, totally amazingly awesome.” I guess I felt that if I promised to be awesome, it might convince the Powers That Be, to say, “oh, ok, that’s all you needed to say Sara.” So here I am, almost 4 years later, blessed with an awesome little lady, and totally not living up to my promises to be “totally amazingly awesome.”
One Day at a Time
Here’s the thing though, sometimes the days just feel long – like I’m literally fighting the fight – using bribery to convince my toddler to use the toilet and not her undies to go to the bathroom, cleaning up countless piles of crumbs and listening to the mind-numbing song “Let It Go” for the umpteenth time. And after that, I sometimes feel like a crazy zombie lady whose lost her brain and can’t talk in complete sentences. After I come out of my trance, I immediately feel terrible! Like, oh my gosh, I need to be a better, more perfect mom. Way more awesome, like I PROMISED!
No One’s Perfect
But here’s the deal, I need to let myself off the hook, right? No one is perfect and I am not a perfect mom. I know that I’m trying my hardest to teach my daughter how to be strong, independent, loving, funny, kind, generous and all-around awesome. I want her to know that it’s ok not to be perfect, no matter who you promised. I do this kind of teaching in a lot of different ways, but my favorite way is in the kitchen. Because it’s a place I love and it’s a place we’ve come to love together. She experiments and occasionally helps and all the while we’re chatting about things or pretending or just playing, and it’s awesome. The kitchen has become “our” place and I love that. Does she spill, create a huge mess or act crazy? Yes! Do I freak out? Sometimes, but it’s ok, because I’m not perfect, no one is!
So as I struggle with secondary infertility, I try to keep my promises of perfection to a minimum. I know I can’t promise that anymore and I know it’s not going to increase my chances of another special gift. Instead, I am going to celebrate all that I have, imperfections and all. I’ll keep doing the best I can, drawing hope and inspiration from my favorite little girl.
Kitchen Collaboration
And since I know many people out there are struggling with secondary infertility, I’ve included some awesome links from fellow dietitians about kids and cooking. Since the kitchen has become such a place of bonding for me and my little one, I want to encourage you to share it as a special place for you and your children. Use that time to learn more about each other and appreciate each other! It’s awesome what you’ll discover!
RDN’s Have Awesome Tips For Kids in the Kitchen
Four Reasons To Cook with Young Children by Jennifer McDaniel
Kitchen Helpers – How to Cook with Kids by Elizabeth Shaw
14 Ways Our Editors Get Their OWN Kids To Eat Healthy by Breana Lai
The Easiest Recipe to Get Kids in the Kitchen by Elana Natker
5 Quick, Easy & Healthy Lunch Ideas by Jessica Fishman Levinson
Featured image courtesy of Pixaby
Such a great post Sara!! And wonderful message, thought I do disagree, you are a totally amazinglyrics perfect mom
Oh Liz you are so sweet! I try, but let me tell you, there are days when I am a solid C or D of a mom. But, as Elana and Sonali said above, we aren’t perfect, but we keep trying! 🙂 Love you and all of your support!
Oh, Sara, I can totally relate. Parenting is wonderful, hard, mundane, amazing – all the feels, all at once most of the time! There are so many times I strive to be “the best mom” and then I find myself yelling, snapping, or feeling hurt about something. After I repent or lick my wounds I say, “OK, tomorrow I’ll be better.” But the fact is, kids learn just as much if not more so when we’re NOT perfect, when we admit our mistakes, when we say, “honey – not now…I need time for me.” You truly are awesome – even when you’re not feeling so awesome!
Wow, Elana, this is so awesome! It’s so true that kids can learn just as much from us when we’re not perfect. And in fact, those might be the most valuable lessons for them to learn. Thank you for sharing this!!!
Thanks for sharing this one Sara, I really needed it today. 2 weeks into it, adjusting to preschool has been really rough. Sienna is just not having it and every morning has been a struggle to say the least. When she’s crying that she doesn’t want to go, I’ve been trying to find the balance between being supportive and firm. For the most part I just cuddle her and tell her it’s going to be ok, but if it continues, at some point, I know I’ll have to get a little tougher with her. Neither my husband or I are great disciplinarians because hey, she’s our baby 🙂
Btw, you must have hidden cameras in my home because “cleaning up countless piles of crumbs and listening to the mind-numbing song “Let It Go” for the umpteenth time.” is my life!!
Oh Sonali! We are totally on the same wave length! My daughter just started preschool too and I know it sort of blows her mind. I cried like a baby when I left her the first day. You know what she did? Just walked right in without looking back! Ha! We’ll get through it! I totally get not being a great disciplinarian, that’s totally hard for me too. Because as you say, she’s my baby!!! Parenting is tough! 🙂 As Elsa would say, “Let it Go!” 🙂
Oh how I can relate – pile of crumbs, Let it Go on perpetual replay and all! Being a Type A person makes motherhood extra difficult, but it’s so important to remember that there’s no perfect and that’s ok. I struggle with it on a regular basis. Thanks for this great post and also for including my lunch recipe roundup 🙂